The Family Meeting

Originally posted June 21, 2019

I woke up this morning to the precious sound of my three year old daughter beckoning me to the playroom. “Mom,” she whispered loudly, “are you awake?”

“Yes, Baby,” I replied, eyes still shut.

“We need you to come to the playroom,” she continued, with an underlying excitement hidden beneath her whisper. Even with closed eyes, I could hear the smile on her lips.

“Hurry! It’s very important!” she implored, as I began rolling out of bed.

“Okay, okay! What is it?” I asked, but she just took off running down the hall in front of me yelling, “She’s coming!”

I tried to wipe the sleep from my tired eyes, hoping I’d be able to see whatever in the world was so important, since this was such a big deal that I was denied the 30 seconds needed to locate my glasses. I came out of the hall and around the corner into the playroom, and what I found still makes me laugh hours later.

My oldest son who just turned 5 had drug the piano bench into the middle of the room and had arranged two chairs across the bench from each other. He sat there on the opposite side of the bench with a spiral notebook placed oh-so-neatly in front of him and a sharpened No. 2 pencil in his hand. His lips were pursed tightly, hiding a confident smile behind his attempt at professionalism.

He looked at me and said, “I’m having an important family meeting. Please set in that chair,” as he motioned with his tye-dye pencil to the child-size pink tufted chair in front of me.

His posture and tone of voice was so matter-of-fact that I immediately had deja-vu of every performance evaluation I’d ever endured in my previous working-life, except today my Boss was a small boy in blue pajamas covered with sharks eating pizzas.

“Oh really?” I played along. “What is this meeting about?”

He leaned forward, propped both elbows on the bench, laced his little fingers together, and looked straight into my soul – the look of a seasoned negotiator.

“We’re here to talk about Lilly’s birthday party,” he began.

“Okay, what do we need to talk about?” I asked the Boss Baby.

He looked toward his sister who was flanking his right shoulder and said, “Lilly, what do you want for your birthday?” using a noticeably deeper, more stern, and intense tone of voice.

“A pinata! A sunshine pinata!” she practically yelled, unable to contain her excitement, knowing at that moment, her wish was his command.

He turned back to me like some kind of tiny mediator and repeats as though I didn’t just hear her myself, “Lilly wants a sunshine pinata at her birthday party. You know her party is soon. That’s what she wants.”

“Okay, we can probably do that,” I said, not sure whether to be intimidated or impressed.

As soon as the word “okay” was almost off my lips, he took the pencil and begin scribbling on the pad like he was taking notes. Then he immediately turned back to Lilly and said, “Okay, Lilly, you’re getting a pinata. What else do you want for your party?”

“A Frozen cake!” she exclaimed.

“She needs cake for her friends. Can she have a Frozen cake?” he mediates back to me again, with very little question in his request.

“I think we can do that,” I said unconfidently.

“Great,” he said bluntly, and scribbled more fake notes on the paper.

Then, just as soon as this early morning interrogation began, it was over. He closed the notebook, placed the pencil firmly down, perfectly parallel to the pad, used both hands to push himself up from his chair and said, “Okay, this meeting is over. Thanks for coming. Now I have to go on vacation. Lilly, you’re in charge while I’m gone.”

As he stepped away from behind the desk, his countenance melted from serious boss back to my funny five year old, and off he ran out of the playroom, on to his next adventure.

I sat there for a moment with a smile on my face, trying to commit the magic of his personality to permanent memory. And any time I’ve had a free moment today, my mind has wandered back to our “family meeting” this morning.

It’s not news to anyone who knows Samuel that he has strong “leadership qualities”, as I like to say. He’s independent, likes to be in charge, loves to delegate anything and everything, and isn’t afraid to make decisions. He’s definitely a leader.

As I was sitting across from him this morning, taking in the scene, I couldn’t help but think of all the times I have joked that he has a bright future in upper management waiting for him. I just know that no matter what he does, Samuel is going to be leading something. Whether it’s sheep in a field or people in a meeting, he’s destined to be directing.

What an awesome privilege and responsibility it is as parents to be able recognize the giftings and talents and personality traits of our kids in order to help guide and grow them into who God has made them to be. Even at 3 and 5, they’re already showing us who they are.

Sometimes it’s hard to see beneath the tantrums and tears, but it’s buried in there, just waiting to be nurtured and developed. And lately, I’ve felt so strongly that it’s our job as parents to steer our kids toward the things that will develop the talents and giftings we recognize in them.

One day, it’s going to be so cool to be able to see him at whatever level he reaches and be able to say, “I have seen this day coming since you were five years old!”

At the same time, my encounter with Mr. Robinson Jr this morning also made me wonder what God sees in us. Not like it’s a surprise for Him to figure out, since He put it there to begin with, but in the same way that we look at our children and see things about them that they are incapable of recognizing, what things does God already see about us that we don’t even see in ourselves yet?

Just like the true personality of our kids can become muddied beneath the fits and fights, the daily grind of life has a way of doing the same thing to adults. Our talents turn rusty as we’re thrown into the sea of responsibility, where priorities take precedence over personal development.

I know I’ve felt this way many times over the course of my life, and especially in the 5 years I’ve been a mom. Nothing like parenthood has made me ask the question “Who am I?”

Sometimes it’s hard to remember. Other times I’m not sure I ever knew to begin with. But thankfully, we all have people around us to remind us of who we are and to call out the greatness they see in us, so I want to end this post a little differently.

Call your mom, dad, sister, brother, grandpa, grandma, mentor, family friend – just someone who has known you for a lonnnng time – and ask them what personality traits, gifts, natural talents/skills they recognized in you as a child.

Think about their responses and how these things that God put inside you have gotten you to where you are today.

When you think about who you are at your core, do you feel any clearer direction of where you see yourself in the future?

I’d love to read your responses if you’d like to share them!

Blessings!

Shannon